New Tools of the Writing Trade

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Every trade has its tools. A chef can’t taste-test without his spoon. A plumber can’t sag without his tool belt. Even a writer needs a pencil and a napkin.

My handy-man husband’s favorite excuse to buy a new tool has always been “the right tool for the job.” In the last century, the computer revolutionized the writer’s profession. But what about this century? What new inventions will change our business? What are the latest tools for the writer’s job?

I recently discovered a web site filled with unique items that made me say, “Wow! Why hasn’t someone invented that sooner?” Many of these items would make our writer’s job easier, so I thought I’d pass on this wealth of knowledge to my fellow writers. Consider the usefulness of these amazing items:

Pancake Pen – This squirt bottle allows you to write and make breakfast at the same time. Fill it with pancake batter and write your masterpiece on the pancake grill as you feed your family.

Extreme Bullet Space Pen – This pen writes anywhere—underwater, upside-down, through grease, even in zero-gravity. As soon as they invent paper that doesn’t get soggy in water, you’ll be able to write while swimming in your pool.

Power Drill Pencil Sharpener Kit – This power drill attachment uses 18-volts to hone your pencils to ultra-sharp points in record time. Especially handy when on a writing binge and don’t want to wait long for a pointed pencil.

Electric Paper Plane Kit – The traditional way to dispose of a bad scene is to crumble the paper and toss it into the nearest trash can. This unique kit allows you to toss with more style. Make a paper airplane with your unwanted pages and attach the tiny electric motor. Even your bad writing will “soar” above the clouds.

Glow in the Dark Toilet Paper – Many of us really do write at night and tip-toe around when we finally get to bed. Glow in the Dark Toilet Paper allows you to use the bathroom without ever turning on the light and waking your family. If you buy the Extreme Bullet Space Pen, you can keep writing on the roll of toilet paper.

Invisible Bookshelf – Your hardback books will look like they’re floating on the wall with these invisible shelves. Buy an e-book reader and you can hang your invisible books on an invisible shelf.

Light Switch Sticky Notes – These sticky notes have a slot in the center for a light switch.  You can leave notes for yourself all over the house as you clean and brainstorm at the same time.

Pen Cap Eating Utensils – These pens have tiny utensils built into the pen cap—useful when you need a snack while you’re writing. Write a sentence, fork a piece of cheese, write a sentence, spoon an M & M. Reward yourself.

Backwards Clock – This clock runs backwards and the numbers go counter-clockwise. When you’re up late writing, you usually have to ignore the clocks. With this clock, the later it gets, the earlier it feels. Win—win.

Admit it. You want at least one of these items. Maybe more than one. After all, the best inventions have yet to be discovered. But more importantly, the most “novel” ideas have yet to be written. So find your favorite tools and start writing. Even if what you write tastes great with maple syrup.